Rough times ahead; hang on for your lives

I jumped the gun Tuesday night in Fugitive Info, telling you that the Palinista candidate in New Hampshire’s Republican Senate primary lost. In fact, Kelly Ayotte squeaked out a narrow victory over an equally out-of-touch Republican who lacked a tap from Queen Sarah’s glittering scepter.

In the Granite State, of course, it really didn’t matter except for bragging rights and the chance for my colleagues to tout the Women Power revolution in the GOP. That in itself is a bit of a travesty, although, I’m sad to say, there are some women I once thought of as liberal who cast their ballots on the basis of gender, claiming that women taking some power in the Republican Party is a good thing.

To them I say this: No, it’s not. Not if the women we’re talking about harbor the same dangerous delusions and problematic policy positions as the men. And they do, although, I must admit, some of them are worse.

No, I’m afraid, changing the gender of the lunatic who have taken over the asylum is not an improvement.

Those of you who think otherwise, well, go ahead and cast a vote for womanhood. And let me know how it works out when it comes down to voting for legislation you care about.

Another sad truth about Tuesday’s primaries is that the crazies won big. From an evolution-denying, anti-masturbation gadfly in Delaware, to a racist lunatic who wants to house the poor in prisons and supports a ban on abortions with no exceptions to an intelligent former state attorney general who somewhere along the line forgot how to use her brain.

Similar nuts have already won Republican primaries in Colorado, Alaska and Nevada, and I’m only talking about Senate and gubernatorial races here. The House? Well, I fully expect it to be taken over by the crazies.

The Senate, though, maybe not. Some of those races are unbelievably close — Sharron “The football team can’t wear black jerseys because that’s the devil’s color” Angle may well defeat Harry Reid. I have no love for Reid, but damn. Sharron Angle is not sane. Joe Miller in Alaska probably will win Lisa Murkowski’s Senate seat, because Scott McAdams just doesn’t have the name recognition. And besides, it’s Alaska.

>And Christine O’Donnell in Delaware — wow, now there’s a fruitcake. O’Donnell is a lightweight who has failed to win office seven or eight times before and thinks that masturbation is evil. O’Donnell is vying for Joe Biden’s former seat. O’Donnell used to be a regular on Bill Maher’s old “Politically Incorrect” show (ABC cancelled the show in 2002 after Maher agreed with guest Dinesh D’Souza that the 9/11 hijackers were not cowards — against the American party line, y’know). The perky Christine, at the time, represented a pro-abstinence group called Saviours Alliance for Lifting the Truth (SALT). And abstinence, she argues, includes refraining from masturbation, which she sees as adultery.

But Christine couldn’t win an election for dogcatcher until she hooked up with the angry Tea Partiers, which works perfectly for her since she, too, has no ideas. But then, she is a professional politician who doesn’t pay back her campaign debts.

And then there’s Carl Paladino, who’ll be facing Andrew Cuomo for governor of New York. Paladino likely won his election on the strength of his anti-Islam campaign. “There’s no constitutional argument (against the ground zero mosque) because it’s not freedom of religion,” he says. Well, moron, what is it? “Ideology,” he says. He’ll use eminent domain to stop the Islamic community center from being built because he “heard reports” that the imam in charge is anti-American, and George W. Bush made a mistake by sending him out to talk about improving U.S.-Muslim relations.

Paladino also suffers from e-mail forwarding disease. He’ll forward anything. Before President Obama’s inauguration, he sent around an video that purported to be the rehearsal for the swearing in. It featured African tribesmen dancing. He’s also sent out porn — including bestiality — a picture of the president and the first lady as a pimp and a ‘ho and this beautiful fake inspirational image.

And what was his spokesman’s response?

Carl Paladino has forwarded close friends hundreds of email messages he received. Many of these emails he received were off color, some were politically incorrect, few represented his own opinion, and almost none of them were worth remembering.

And Palladino himself, who wouldn’t say which ones “represented his own opinion” and which ones didn’t, blamed “the Democrats” for the controversy.

And it’s not just e-mails. When Palladino opens his mouth, watch out. He seems to have a serious problem with blacks in the Buffalo education system, complaining that Superintendent James Williams got his job because of his race and that the teachers’ union president is too close to black female school board members, whom he called “the parasitc Black Sisterhood.” He stand by his comments.

Then there’s his bastard child and my personal favorite — his plan to house the poor in prisons where they’ll learn how to get jobs and “hygiene.” Oh, and prison guards will be retrained to be counselors.

That’s where we are, friends. The Republican Party is now officially the party of the crazy. But it’s hardly surprising — the whackos have been working that angle for years, decades even. And now here we are.

But here’s the thing — whenever a society nears a monumental change, there’s a sharp and sure split. Extreme partisanship becomes the norm as conservatives, recognizing that change is coming, fight harder to prevent it, to pull it back, and progressives, who know that progress cannot be stopped, push harder to make it happen faster.

This intense push and pull makes for unsettling times, and, lord, we sure have ‘em now. If the crazies pull out a lot of victories in November, we’re not going to care much for what follows. On the other hand, those among us who just can’t accept that there really is a difference between Democrats and Republicans, miniscule as it may be, will find out first hand just what that difference is. If that’s the case, then 2012 may finally bring the change we’ve been looking for as the American pendulum swings as hard to the left as it has to the right this year.

And then, later on, it’ll settle to a new center, one that’s a little more sane than the one my colleagues think of as moderate.

Or Americans will close their eyes to the insanity the right has wrought. If that’s the case, we’re really doomed.

We do have a choice here, as a people. We’re still a democracy, for now. Vote. And keep putting the truth out there about what these TeaPublicans really are all about.