It’s so nice to know that we’re still living in that topsy-turvy, night is day, up is down world the Bush administration did such a wonderful job of inserting into our consciousness. Because now we know things like Jesus wasn’t interested in social or economic justice, Bruce Springsteen is unAmerican and OnStar will be used to impose martial law.

And that’s just from Glenn Beck. Add John Boehner, Liz Cheney, Karl Rove and a cast of thousands into the mix and, my god, the wonders never cease.

Like, for example, did you know that the Obama administration is going to take away your right to fish? Yes. That one was started by ESPNOutdoors columnist Robert Montgomery and has spread like wildfire through the crazies. Of course, Montgomery had not one shred of evidence for his claim — likely because it’s complete bullshit — and ESPNOutdoors had to acknowledge there were “errors” in their handling of the column and that it lacked “balance.”

But don’t you worry. By the time the people in charge coughed up their mea culpa, that story was already believed across the country and no amount of facts will ever change their minds.

And then there’s the Texas Board of Education, bound and determined to rip every element of liberal thought from school textbooks. Joe McCarthy? Good guy. Really. Phyllis Schlafly, the Heritage Foundation and the NRA? Paragons of conservative thought who lead the way to returning America to its strength. Separation of church and state? Doesn’t exist.

Oh, and Thomas Jefferson? Banished from a list of 18th century thinkers whose writings inspired revolutions. Musta been that separation of church and state thing.

Jeez, but we’ve been poisoning the minds of our children now for decades. No wonder folks like you and me are so deluded.

And there’s this whole thing about reconciliation. Now, never mind that the Bush administration loved that perfectly legitimate process, using it on, for example, GW’s tax cuts for the rich. I’ll bet you think that the Dems are gonna use majority rule to cram health care reform down our throats, didn’t you? If you believe the Republicans, and many do, that’s what you think, and what I’m about to say won’t change your mind.

But here’s the thing: The health care reform bill has already passed in the Senate. If the House passed that bill, then it goes to the president’s desk for his signature.

Now, it’s a crappy bill, we already know. But it is better than it was — and it passed with the requisite 60 votes in the Senate.

So where’s the cramming down our throats, you might ask. Well, that comes in the budget reconciliation process, when the Democrats hope to pass a few tweaks to the bill they’ve already passed, only without having to face a Republican filibuster. The Republicans, as is their duty as the Party of No, have promised to wreck the whole process.

But it may not even get that far, since some Democrats, led by Bart Stupid, have promised to keep the House from passing the Senate bill because it doesn’t impose enough restrictions on women who don’t want to follow their rules about when and how they can have sex.

A quick side note here: In case you’ve never heard my take on abortion, here it is. Abortion eliminates a life. Not a person, mind you. A life. Abortion is not birth control, which, incidentally, the Bart Stupids of this country would also like to eliminate — abstention being the only form they condone. Women do not seek abortions as an alternate to birth control. They seek abortions because they cannot see themselves bearing and raising a child. They seek abortions because they live in a society that constantly devalues them, that teaches them they don’t know enough to make their own decisions, that tells them daily that the men in their lives make all the decisions, that does not do one single thing to stop men from raping, forcing their children into incestuous relationships and treating the women in their lives like chattel. Until all that changes, abortion must remain an option for women.

Now. Here’s the thing. The perpetrators of our upside down world don’t have our best interests at heart. In fact, they don’t really give a shit about this country or its people. They only care about themselves, and making themselves the Most Important People In The World, by any means necessary.

That’s obvious — nothing they do moves us forward, encourages us to be better, stronger, smarter, healthier, wiser. Best that we stay small and frightened and helpless. And those of us who’d rather not live our lives dependent on Big Daddy to get us through the day, well, we’re just communists. Or worse.

Plus, doncha know, all this talk about “individual liberties” and everything is a little … well, quaint is the word that come to mind. Back North America still had places that were unexplored, and folks were putting their lives on the line just to live, not to mention force out the original owners who were, naturally, a little pissed. Wonder whatever happened to their freedom and rights to live as they want?

Anyway, the conservatives don’t seem to notice that we don’t live in that world anymore. For one thing, there are just too damn many of us. We just simply can’t all be self-sufficient. In fact, very few of us can. The world has changed, dramatically, and it is never going back to the way it used to be. Those days are long gone.

Conservatives, sadly, collectively have a very bad case of denial. And their illness is keeping the rest of us from the destiny of humanity, which I guarandamntee you isn’t to sit back and collect as much money as we can while killing as many people who aren’t like us as we can.

And I don’t know about you, but it really ticks me off when the conservatives insist that they and only they are about truth, freedom and liberty. Talk about arrogance. Freedom, you know, like the freedom not to have our telephones tapped or our e-mails read because somebody somewhere thought we might be harboring terrorist intentions. Or liberty, like, knowing we won’t one day be kidnapped off the street, a bag shoved over our heads while we’re whisked away to some backwards country where nobody dares complain about torture.

Or truth. See above. Or read Michael Hinckley’s latest in these pages. Yeah, I’ve got your truth, right here.

And speaking of terrorists, when did the definition change to “person with Arabic-sounding name or brown complexion, and no others, not even if you fly your airplane into a U.S. government building?” Well, I guess that’s changed now with Jihad Jane and that Colorado woman.

So we’ll treat them like terrorists. But really, they’re misguided women who sadly believe all the bullshit about who they are that’s been force-fed into their minds all their lives. Kinda like women who marry death row convicts or who wile away the late night hours on the Internet looking for someone who’ll say a kind word. Mmm. Just like Jihad Jane and the Colorado woman.

Oh oh oh oh oh. I get it. A white woman can be a terrorist because, well, because she’s a woman and they’re like that. White men, though. Not possible.

But I digress, as I’m wont to do.

We’re still living in mixed up world, my friends. The result of 30 years of conservative misrule, with the last eight in overdrive, is this. Infrastructure crumbling, ridiculous wars started on dubious reasons, Catholic bishops writing laws, insurance companies, pharmaceutical companies and energy companies writing laws. Half of us can see the problems and the other half is hopelessly deluded. Kinda like New Orleans and Katrina.

There’s no solution in sight because we’re hopelessly divided.

And no one could have anticipated that.