Jon Stewart conducted such a fantastic interview last night — profanities and all (and we all know how much I love the profane) — that all day I’ve been almost embarrassed to admit that I work with an awful lot of “journalists” who think that an interview is when you take someone from Ideology No. 1 and throw them in a locked room with someone from the Ideology precisely opposite No. 1 and then say something incendiary to each.

But alas, that is where I work. And it’s such a damn shame that Stewart works on Comedy Central. He’d be an asset to any of the networks, cable or broadcast.

I suppose there is some consolation that an abbreviated version of his show does air on CNN International on the weekends — wonder if they’ll be doing the Cramer interview?

But, they don’t let me do the hiring, so I suppose I’m stuck with the usual kind of “balanced” interview my colleagues prefer to doing their homework and actually asking hard questions.

I saw one such interview on CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360 last night, except Cooper wasn’t there. The referee was John King. I wasn’t actually watching — the television was on to CNN — so I only heard one little snippet in passing and absolutely astounded me. Here it is:

KAREN ENGLAND, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, CAPITOL RESOURCE INSTITUTE: Well, I have several — several family members in the military, and we are very opposed to this changing of the policy.

You know, you cited a poll, a poll of the American people. I hope our military doesn’t make decisions based on some poll of the American people. This is a dangerous policy that puts our military at risk, and we need to continue to keep our eye on the ball and fight this war on terror. And the last thing we should be doing is using our military as a social experiment, pushing the social agenda of the Democrats.

KING: Let me jump in on that. Explain to somebody watching who would say, you know, ‘There’s a gay couple that lives next door to me. There is a gay couple at work, or one of my colleagues at work is a male gay or is a lesbian.’ How is it a social experiment? If this is happening in everyday life, is that an experiment, too? Why is it an experiment in the military?

ENGLAND: The experiment is that you’re going to be having them cohabitate. We don’t have men and women who are sexually attracted to each other cohabitating right now. We don’t have them showering together. We don’t have them distracted at all. We have them focused on a mission, and the mission is keeping them safe. That is the part that’s the social experiment.

Gays and lesbians are already serving in the military. What they are not allowed to do is flaunt their sexuality in the military and flaunt their sexual orientation. And that is the difference in this policy.

Notice that one breath, Karen England said it was a social experiment to let gay men and lesbians serve opening in the military — because they’d be taking showers with straight people — and in the very next breath said that gay men and lesbians are already serving in the military, they’re just not allowed to “flaunt” their sexuality.

To borrow a phrase from Jon Stewart, fuck you, Karen.

Y’know, I’m fucking sick and tired of repressed, uptight, frightened little conservatives acting like our entire lives are centered around having sex. Ooooh, we can’t “cohabitate” with people of the same gender because we’re sexually attracted to them. Well, no, we’re not. I’m not attracted to every woman I see, whether she’s naked or not. I’m not the least bit attracted to Karen England, for example. When I looked at her on the TV screen, I saw a nasty, ugly woman who clearly wasn’t listening to herself talk or else she might have noticed that she’d said something that made no sense whatsoever. That’s just not attractive to me.

I’m also sick to death of this “flaunting” thing that the whiny little motherfuckers use all the time. That shit’s been going on for a looonnng time, and it’s time to get over it. I’ll bet Karen England doesn’t consider that wedding ring on her finger flaunting her sexual orientation. But you know she damn sure would if I were wearing one.

Oh, unless of course I lied and said I was married to somebody named Jon or Jim.

To these bigoted assholes, the word “flaunt” doesn’t mean the same as it does to you and me. The dictionary definition — and the one I’ve always thought was what the word means — is “to parade or display oneself conspicuously, defiantly, or boldly.” OK, a gay pride parade — that’s flaunting. But that’s what a gay pride parade is, is it not?

The bigots have made up their own definition. To them, “flaunting” is when gay men or lesbians refuse to lie about who they are and actually go about their business being themselves. And I cannot believe that in 2009 I’m still having to write those words because the morons on the right are still so afraid that their little worlds are going to come crashing down around them that they cannot accept the idea that they’re wrong. Dead wrong.

But seriously, this whole thing would be so much easier if they’d just admit that. I understand. If they admit they’re wrong about the gays, then they’ll have to consider that their entire lifestyles might be wrong, because, you know, if you’re wrong about one thing, it throws everything else into question.

And then there’s this ridiculous idea of gay men and lesbians in the military as “social experiment.” Karen England ties that to “cohabitation” — the dreaded showing with the queer. Oooh. Scarey. Because now we’re right back to the idea that gay men and lesbians are all about sex.

Y’know what I think? I think it’s Karen England and the rest of the frightened little bigots who are all about sex. They damn sure obsess enough about what the rest of us do, don’t they?

And there was more. CNN has graciously posted transcripts from the show, so now I’ve read the whole segment. Here’s what Karen England said about President Obama’s remarks a couple of years ago to a gay magazine in which he said that the United States was spending entirely too much money to kick highly qualified folks out of the military simply because they’re gay — and that doesn’t make us safe.

Well, first of all, the president’s view was when he was a senator. And I don’t think he had a lot of good information at that time.

Yeah, cause we all know that senators get really inferior information from fucking bigots. Karen England also warns that Obama better not pursue his radical agenda to treat any segment of the population with the same dignity as respect as other segments — you know, like repealing DOMA so that lesbians and gay men can have some semblance of equal protection in regards to their partners — or else he’ll lose the support of the bigots that he doesn’t have the support of anyway.

It really is time to ditch “don’t ask don’t tell.” It never should have been set up to begin with, but Bill Clinton got scared of all the bigots and “compromised.” And the sickening thing about it at the time was one of the arguments for forcing gay men and lesbians to lie about who they were was for their own safety — because too many heterosexual military personnel might react badly to the news and hurt them.

That makes no sense either. Here’s what Bring It On’s Omnipotent Poohbah said about that:

The policy’s pretzel logic suggests we don’t have a military, but an undisciplined, heavily-armed gang that won’t follow orders because someone in the next bunk has bitchin’ fashion sense. When you stop and think about it, it’s pretty insulting to assume soldiers who face death and injury daily would worry so much about taking a shower with the guy in the next tent. If there aren’t any atheists in foxholes, then there sure must be a huge bunch of homophobes.

The bottom line is that this is one stupid-ass problem to be worried about. WE ARE EVERYWHERE ALREADY, and so far, the world has not imploded, heterosexual marriage has not been destroyed and our ranks have not been filled by legions of recruits snatched from school yards and brainwashed to believe that that Satan wants them to be gay.

If there is a Satan, which I seriously doubt, I’m thinking what he’d really want is for the Karen Englands of the world to keep spreading their hate and lies. That seems a much more satanic thing to do than for gay soldiers, airmen, sailors and marines to simply go about their lives without fearing someone might accidentally discover their darkest secret and cost them their careers.

Because, geez, folks. Lesbians and gay men can and do die in the desert just as easily as straight folks.

Cross-posted at Stop the Press!

The News Writer
AWOP Political Contributing Editor
Author of Stop The Press Blog

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Peace Y’all