Self-Destruct Sequence Has Been Activated
Jul 12th, 2009 | By Dharma Kelleher | Read more in: Feature, GLBTQIf you’re a sci-fi geek like me, then you’ve probably heard the phrase “The self-destruct sequence has been activated.” It’s been in a few Star Trek shows, a few of the Aliens movies and probably hundreds of other space operas.
Activating the self-destruct sequence is an act of desperation, when all other attempts to save the crew and destroy the Klingons, Borg, predators or aliens have failed. It’s usually followed by another inane announcement along the lines of “You have two minutes to reach minimum safe distance.” Uh-huh. Right.
So why am I going all geeky fan girl on you? No, it’s not to promote the latest summer blockbuster. It’s because someone seems to have activated the self-destruct sequence in the LGBTQIA community (yeah, I’m including everyone in this). I’ve witnessed an increase of (mostly online) snarkiness, name-calling, finger-pointing (usually the middle one), and all out nastiness. All within the community itself.
Maybe it’s the economy. Or the summer heat. Or perhaps Mercury (or Venus or Mars) is in retrograde. Or maybe we’re all suffering PTSD from years of harassment by right wing extremists. Whatever the reason, we are self-destructing. And it’s not helping our cause one bit.
Much of the ugliness tends to fall into one of two categories: intolerance of the more diverse members of our community and pointless quibbles about labeling ourselves or others. In other words, the problems are ignorance and arrogance. Didn’t we get enough of that during the Bush Administration?
The pastor of a welcoming church I used to attend was fond of saying, “We’re all for diversity until we meet someone that’s really diverse.” That was ten years ago and we haven’t improved all that much. Mainstreamers hate the flamers. Gays hate transgender people. Transsexuals hate genderqueers. And lesbians hate everyone.
Okay, that’s a gross exaggeration. Most of us get along well with each other most of the time. But it is so easy, so tempting to let ourselves get sucked back into that “us versus them” mindset where “them” is anyone not exactly like us.
But baby, if it’s you and me against the world, I’m switching sides! Xenophobia is the problem no matter who’s doing it. The truth is there is no them. It’s all us (even if they aren’t like you or me). And the sooner we realize that, the faster we will achieve the dream of equality.
As for the labeling issue, we have to realize two things. One, we each should be allowed to define ourselves however we want. We can pick our own labels. Male. Female. Gay. Lesbian. Queer. Trans. Fae. Whatever you want. And we have to allow others to do the same. The other thing is we have to not get bent if someone uses the wrong label out of ignorance (If they do it just to be mean, kick their ass! Just kidding!). Politely correct them. Simply say, “Actually, I identify as …..” That’s the best way to get the respect you deserve. That’s the win!
The self-destruct sequence has been activated. It didn’t do Ripley in Alien any good to shout to the ship’s computer, “Mother! Turn the cooling units back on!” We have to override the self-destruct that is our ego. We have to make amends when we harm others, even verbally. We have to check our emotions and realize it ain’t all about us. We have to realize that we’re not advancing the causes of equality by sniping at each other. Nobody wins.
In closing, I refer to that wonderful quote from the cartoon strip Pogo, “I have seen the enemy and he is us.” Thank you.
Dharma Kelleher is the author of “Fight the Misery Conspiracy: Reclaiming Your Right to be Happy”. She is a member of TheLesbianLifestyle.com’s Advice Panel and is an administrator for MTFMentors.org. More info at www.dharmakelleher.com.
Dharma KelleherAWOP contributing author
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All your base are belong to me! LOL.
But this is serious. It is us against the lies, distortions and Radical Right mentality that wish to push ALL OF US back into the closet by bringing back the old “sodomy” laws. I have been wondering what they are going to act like when we do get all our rights recognized?
Thanks for bringing this up Dharma. And making the point so very clear.
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Dharma, you’re inside my brain, woman! Can I get you a coke or something?
I swear, I’ve been thinking much about this very issue. And I have a big concern that one of the casualties of the recent unpleasantries might just be a permanently jaded collective sense of humor. Thanks for the reality check.
And thanks for mentioning Ripley in Aliens, which never fails to launch a different sort of sequence for me.
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I couldn’t agree with you more. I am not thrilled with labels but do find that they are useful at times. Being a little longer in the tooth than some, I remember when there were much fewer labels from which to choose. Now I live in fear of the “label police”. Am I really butch enough to self identify as such. Thanks for writing so eloquently on a topic many of us have had on our mind as of late.
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I was born with a permanently jaded sense of humor. And let’s not even start on Ripley.
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My sense of humor is also permanently jaded. It’s what makes me so irresistibly charming. ::snarf::
Oh and a totally unrelated bit of Ripley trivia, during the filming of Aliens IV, when Sigourney Weaver (as Ripley) tosses the basketball over her shoulder and hits nothing but net, she did that on the first try. No special effects. The original plan was to CG the ball going in, the director and crew not expecting Ms. Weaver to actually make the shot. It was one of those beginner’s luck kind of things.
Should I mention that Aliens IV is my fav of the series because not only do you have the supped up resurrected Ripley, but you also get a snarky Ron Perlman (gotta love that) and Wynona Ryder as an emo cyborg. Yum! Okay, enough gushing fan girl.
Thanks for all the fantastic feedback. Have a great weekend, everyone.
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I yield to Dharma’s obvious superior scifi fandom. Although I always more fond of reading scifi than watching.
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Thank you, Dharma, for the extra, added reasons to love Sigourney Weaver! I named my first saddle Sigourney, for Goddess’ sakes! This makes my weekend!!!!
Now, let’s get to work un-jading all our collective sense of humor, shall we?
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but but margoooooo. how do you expect me to do that? it’s my chief claim to fame!
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Sorry, NW, but if you laughed at that Onion post, the goat speaking to the food giver, you’re still curable. What a wonderfully innocent laugh that was!!!
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i don’t have an innocent bone in my body. so there. But I do have a cat named Pogo, and he reminds every day that we are the enemy, and we’d better start figuring that out before he and his friends have to do something about it.
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