Return Receipt Required
Nov 14th, 2009 | By Margo Moon | Read more in: GLBTQ
Dear Straight America,
You have spoken to us in plain terms and we must acknowledge defeat. Gay people are not your equals. From California to Maine, you have made yourselves quite clear. Thanks for your honesty.
Being gay is not a viable option in this society, so we’re all going straight. That’s right! We had a massive secret meeting this week and decided to join you guys. Are you getting happier yet? Are you feeling as happy as this lame bunch of marriage freaks in Maine?
Well, not so fast. We’re all going to embrace the straight lifestyle on the same (undisclosed) day in the not-so-
distant future. And starting on that exact day, each and every one of us whose health insurance covers it will make an appointment for the most expensive therapy available for curing The Homosexuality. You all don’t mind helping us pay for this through higher insurance premiums, do you?
Next, we’re going to hire, I mean elect, a leader. You know, someone the insurance companies can easily identify as the one they need to pay off for getting us to stop sucking up all those benefit dollars. Our leader will quickly negotiate a shady deal where we agree to suspend therapy in exchange for the entire health insurance industry bringing its substantial pressure to bear on the legislators they own to make marriage equality happen.
After that, it’s just a matter of getting the powerful Catholic Church on our side. Oughta be real easy. As easy as selling out on abortion rights. We watch. We learn. I mean, gays don’t hardly ever use the right to an abortion anyway.
Get ready, Straight America, we’re learning to play this game your way.
Hugs and touches,
Gay America
AWOP contributing author
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hmmmm.
Just think of the things we could do with a license to use that kind of in your face religious and social hypocrisy!
I am not, however, gonna kneel at the feet of pasty white men with beer bellies. ick-orama.
kim g.
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Do I get to wear outfits like this if I’m straight? http://www.fldscrafts.com/index.php?cPath=51 Woo hoo!
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jack-of-all-thumbs
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November 16th, 20092009-11-17T04:55:45ZF jS, Y at 11:55 pm2009-11-17T04:55:45Zg:i a
I most certainly hope not….
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I hate to admit it, but Old Injun is getting more embarrassed to be associated with the ’straights’ every time Maine votes like it has. If we could either lose the fanatic anti-gay, anti-sex-ed, anti-birth control, anti-abortion, anti-rational thought, hypocritical, dogmatic, robotic religiously corrupt(well, they do act opposite to Christ’s teachings) or somehow get the remainder of thinking folks out to vote, this issue would be passed in favor of gay equality and we could move forward.
Strikes me as convenient timing for the Mormon Church to decide GLBT folks aren’t planning mass suicide to ‘cleanse’ Utah of their presence. Seems word got out that more than a few of their number belong to this segment of the population. Just wish they’d stayed home and sat on their $$$ instead of sowing divisiveness and mistrust in ME & CA. Perhaps we Mainers need to enact laws preventing outside influences from participating in local elections. The GLBT folks spent here too, but were outspent by an estimated minimum of 5-1 by the combined Catholic & Mormon Churches.
Perhaps the next generation will have wiser and better educated folks who will finally move forward after my generation and it’s mind-numb drones are just a bad memory. In my opinion, only when the rich, angry, old white men that hold so much power are replaced by younger & wiser voters will this state catch up to where we Indian Natives have been all along. Racist? Maybe, but also borne out by historical accounts of our government vs the governments of the ’settlers’ who ‘discovered’ my ancestors and ‘civilized’ us. Thankfully, most of us were too distrustful to fully relinquish our savage ways.
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I’m thinking the Two-Tone Topstitch Dress for you, Lori.
Goddess! A boddess!
Mike, your phrase “…only when the rich, angry, old white men that hold so much power…” is truly striking, when you think about it. Because it’s true. Those who would seem to have “made it” are often the most bitter of all. Maybe that next generation you speak of will take the hint and define success differently. And, no, I don’t see your opinion as racist at all. Then again, maybe I’m a little racist in preferring those savage ways.
Oh, Kim. Why did my eyes have to see “…kneel at the feet of pasty white men with beer bellies” this early on a Sunday morning?
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jack-of-all-thumbs
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November 16th, 20092009-11-17T04:58:00ZF jS, Y at 11:58 pm2009-11-17T04:58:00Zg:i a
Margo,
It wasn’t any easier to take late on a Monday evening…..
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A Progressive Girl
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November 17th, 20092009-11-17T14:46:33ZF jS, Y at 9:46 am2009-11-17T14:46:33Zg:i a
the photo made me do it.
so sorry to have disturbed : )
kim g.
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Margo Moon
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November 17th, 20092009-11-17T15:56:07ZF jS, Y at 10:56 am2009-11-17T15:56:07Zg:i a
Yeah, I’m not big on bans, but maybe that phrase could be an exception.
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A Progressive Girl
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November 17th, 20092009-11-17T19:57:20ZF jS, Y at 2:57 pm2009-11-17T19:57:20Zg:i a
you got it.
Sorry Margo…
Yeah, bad timing that…that was most definitely a Thursday or a Friday kind of comment.
kim g.
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Margo, having ‘made it’ after a fashion, we chose to selectively use our good fortune to help others, keeping just what we need to live a modest lifestyle. Our families are set through us and their own efforts, so sharing was the logical course of action. That’s when I first REALLY recognized the ‘rich, angry, white men’ in action. I’d already been accepted into the ‘club’ due to my employment status, but when we went home & became inconspicuous you’d have thought we’d committed a ‘cardinal sin’ as the Pope’s folks call it. Then when we started doling out $$$ to worthy causes and spending our time with those less fortunate we almost became outcasts. Not boasting, just explaining the true cause of the epiphany I had. At that point I really saw the ‘lib-con’ difference. Some ‘cons’ are generous, but rarely to the point they actually ‘feel’ the difference. Most ‘lib-moderate’ folks tend to be far less judgmental, more giving of not just their $$$ but of themselves as well. At a late stage in my life I finally saw the reason I’d chosen my friends the way I did and I’ll forever be grateful to those who shaped my priorities while growing up.
While I worked abroad nearly all my career I saw many aspects of our planet. It seems on looking back that it was about the only time I saw ‘con’ types being generous. Now I realize it was as they were expected to ‘appear’ benevolent so the chose the most visibile means while spending the least $$$ and usually zero ‘time’ doing good.
One major tenet of my People and my white ‘adoptive family’ is service to others, community, etc and to always extend a helping hand to all who need it, friend or not. It’s served me well so far, and after 6+ decades I doubt I’ll change much.
Kim, that image is NEVER gonna rest long in my mind. Seen too many grovelling before the likes of Evil Dick C & Karl R. Knew both from sixties/early seventies on. Evil asses then, evil asses today. Both stand as prime examples of the WRONG way to treat others.
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Margo Moon
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November 17th, 20092009-11-17T16:05:54ZF jS, Y at 11:05 am2009-11-17T16:05:54Zg:i a
See, Mike? There are definitely some widely disparate levels of evolution acting at any one point in time. Of course, I prefer the direction you and other progressive people are pushing our species toward. Time will tell if it turns out to be the path that nature favors.
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