Shannon Minter, lead attorney for the appeal of Prop 8, said to me in an interview that part of what will win this culture war is going out, no matter how uncomfortable, and having those conversations with people who we are fairly certain are not on our side in our struggle.

This weekend, I started that process. With the pastor at my son’s church. He’s a fine man and dad – father to my son’s best friend and coach at the high school.  The mother is my son’s cross country coach and teacher.  I like their family. It’s strong. They took in another of Joe’s friends who needed help. They help in the community. They have raised a fine boy.

For nearly an hour, with his computer with e-Bible atop the hood of my car, we discussed the root of his beliefs. We parried, like two old yet civilized Jewish scholars, over the intent of the scripture. At times, he didn’t have answers to my questions.

At one point, he started to say, “I respect you…” and I asked him to stop. Reminded him that he did not respect me if he could call me, according to him and his Bible, morally corrupt.

I didn’t change his mind but when I said point-blank to him that when he encourages his flock to vote against gay marriage he is hurting me, my family, my friends and their families – personally, financially, socially, and legally. I told him next time he had an opportunity to speak his Christian conscience I hoped he’d see my face and the face of my son.

While I admire his desire to live by the teachings of his church, I reminded him of the secular nature of our government. He went down many paths for which our arguments hold sway and he stopped. It got down to the basics – we each have a right to vote our conscience. But, do we have a right I asked, to insist that others live by your beliefs?

We shook hands upon leaving – he reminding me what a fine job I’m doing raising my children. I sound pretty dangerous, huh? Raise my kids well, volunteer at school, pay my taxes, mow my lawn.

We all been vocal in our way – but this is different – this is taking it to the next level.  Sit down one-on-one with that special someone you’d most think needs to hear it – make it real to them. Not protesting. Not preaching to the converted. A purposeful conversation–one that may not get off the ground, but one that might. With a person who does not agree.

I challenge everyone reading this to have a conversation like this in the next week. No matter how difficult or how much of an inconvenience – with a person you know doesn’t share your view on gay rights. If you’re straight – the challenge is even more important to take up on our behalf.

Write to me and tell me how it went.

Be brave – it’s really the only chance we’re gonna’ have.