I’d like to welcome Shannon Hames of Sinnerviewer to our fabulously talented team of writers here at Team AWOP. Shannon and her partner and their children live in Georgia.

I came out about a year and a half ago. I have lived most of my life in Georgia, the heart of the Bible Belt. I met my husband just after my 16^th birthday (he was 25) and got married at a tender 21. I believed marriage would make me straight … but what does a 21 year old kid know?

I spent the next 18 years in fundamental, evangelical churches trying to get a cure from God. I homeschooled my 2 children, volunteered as a Sunday school teacher, church librarian, as a foster mother and also worked with hospice patients. I was bound to rid myself of the gay curse by prayer, Bible study, good works and faith that if it was according to God’s will, He would give me what I asked for.

Through a theology study trying to prepare for a Biblical counseling exam, I realized God hasn’t “fixed” me because I’m not broken. Coming to the full realization that it was truly sinful for me to be living a lie but terrified of the rejection I was sure to face, I stepped out of the closet and began living my truth even though it cost me half of my family, a public announcement of my “sin” from the pulpit in a worship service, a bloodied nose from a fellow church member, a “you’re going to hell” letter from one of my daughter’s 12 year old friends, my marital residence, all of my marital property, alimony and a final public prayer for my death by my church before they formally dis-fellowshipped me from their congregation.

At the time that I came out, I didn’t personally know a single gay person. I didn’t know where they lived, how they found each other, what they do for fun … not a thing. I didn’t know where to go for support. I didn’t have anyone to talk to about how to move forward. The only gays that I knew at all were a few fellow bloggers from faraway places who I had befriended in the most distant, online sort of way but who, over this last year and a half, have become some of my best pals.

Also online, I met some people who shared my affinity for 80s hair bands & pop culture. One in particular, who also happened to be a lesbian my age, became a huge source of support and also an answer to prayer. Although we had a sincere and wonderful friendship in the beginning, she became my first love almost as soon as we met. Six months later, she showed up in Atlanta from Michigan in a U-Haul with her 2 kids in tow and became my first tutor in all things gay.

I was astonished at how little I really new about gay culture! I never heard about the Stonewall Riots, what the origins of the pink triangle were, no understanding whatsoever about transgender people and no knowledge of gay terminology (bear, daddy, twink, bottom, LBD, etc,). I literally could not have an intelligent gay conversation.

I also, unfortunately, had no gaydar. Well, I could tell you who was gay if they happened to be Leslie Jordan or k.d. lang – but that was the extent of my ability to sense a fellow fag. Melissa coached me out of necessity more than anything. Apparently, I was (and still am) completely unable to discern when I am being hit on because, well, I live in Georgia and everyone is friendly and nobody else is gay.

Because of her diligent efforts, I can now sometimes recognize what Melissa calls a “Billie Jean King.” I have absolutely no success on spotting the femmes (the ones I would be most attracted to) which Melissa has no intentions of teaching me anything about. I guess I’ll take what I can get.

I am still a baby queer (even at 40) and I have so much to learn but I am well on my way! I am fresh, full of zeal and am already knee deep in queer things such as P-FLAG, a local homeless shelter for gay teens, a lesbian social group, a lesbian health center, and a local youth center for GLBTQ youth. I am out there representin’ and making up for lost time and learning all I can about gay history, culture and community. I want to wish all of my fellow queers a Happy Pride Month – we all deserve it!