Since this morning, I’ve learned that the rumor was unfounded...no decision on May 21st. We continue to wait.

I’ve thought a lot about how tomorrow is going to go. In case you haven’t heard, the California Supreme Court is rumored to be making their decision regarding the legality of last fall’s Proposition 8 decision to deny marriage rights to gays and lesbians. Barricades have been dropped off in The Castro, the historic gay neighborhood tucked in the hills of San Francisco. Contingency plans for a decision in either direction are being made by GLBT groups across the country.

If the CA Supremes rule in favor of letting Prop 8 stand, I believe they will have made a mistake that will haunt them forever. The ramifications of bowing to pressure by a simple majority of people making decisions not grounded in law and the tenets of our California and Federal Constitutions will be great.

To make such decisions by popular vote that affect HUMAN lives and set one group above another in their “equalness” is plain wrong. Especially when it’s based on some theological doctrine most of them don’t really understand and surely don’t practice well based on what I’ve seen of a general pick-and-choose type of religious behavior of many people I know who oppose equal rights.

I get angry with some African-American leadership who claim we dare not grab onto the words “civil rights” because we were not oppressed for hundreds of years. Should I, or anyone, have to be oppressed for even ONE MINUTE living in the United States of America? Should one group be allowed to own a history of oppression? Have not our young died at their own hand or the hands of others for “acting” or “looking” a certain way. Have not our people been raped, beaten, and bashed and a hope for justice swept under so many rugs for decades? Have not our youth left their home towns and families – often alienated from them forever – so they could live as openly and freely who they are? Isn’t this country’s storied history of freedom for all people and cultures why we are all still here? Because we can rely on the fact that the rights of the minority will be protected?

After the Prop 8 win last fall, many of those who voted in favor of discrimination were shocked and appalled that we didn’t just shut up and go away. The vote decided it. In their minds, it was over. We kept rallying and protesting. We kept up the messaging – some of it even angrier than before, but some of it changing direction to come to a place where we might get greater understanding.

Our own activist organizations were thrown in tumult as blame was bandied about for our failure to win support great enough that we would no longer be fighting this fight. The old guard and the up-and-coming activists tussled mightily over what the proper course would be. And, we had some bad actors who did some things they shouldn’t, like vandalize churches and temples. I think this just goes to show that we are indeed human, just like those who would further oppress us.

I was heartened to see that our major loss in California did not deter those who were fighting in other states and that we have had several wins over the past few months in both states which have approved gay marriage and those who have amendments against gay marriage who have passed other laws to grant gay couples some form of recognition to protect their families.

What seems to be missing in the Yes on 8 people’s equation of their version of the perfect California is that we work and live beside them and must now do so knowing they think we are less than or deserve less than what they have the ability to have. To get that, on a gut level, has been horrifying to me. I don’t think I ever got what it must feel like, even in some small part, to be a racial minority the way I did when this realization sunk in.

Tomorrow, if we win. I will celebrate on my front lawn. I will invite all the gay people I know to celebrate with me so my neighbors who tied their Yes on 8-ness to their Americanism can see our joy. If we lose, I will go to the capitol and protest – once again – and hope that eventually we will overcome.

“If the white man wants to live in peace with the Indian he can live in peace. There need be no trouble. Treat all men alike. Give them all the same law. Give them all an even chance to live and grow. All men were made by the same Great Spirit Chief. They are all brothers. The earth is the mother of all people, and all people should have equal rights upon it.” ~ Chief Joseph