Pray to your cats: They expect you to anyway

When I put the word out that I was wanting to hear from atheists what god they choose when believers inevitability claim they secretly pray, I got a bunch of different answers, and all were entertaining. There were few repeats, but one name kept coming up over and over again: Bast, also known as Bastet. I’ll leave it to experts in ancient history to explain the signficance of this goddess, who was usually portrayed as simply being a cat (instead of being a person with a cat head). Ancient Egyptians are remembered fondly for many reasons, including the pyramids and Cleopatra, but their affection for cats is near the top of the list of reasons modern people think back on that culture and smile.

But the whole thing made me think: why not just cut out the middleman? Why not just pray directly to cats? Well, once that idea was in my head, I realized that a top ten list was in order.

Ten Reasons to Pray to Cats Instead of Gods

1) Cats are real.

2) Because of this, cats have a marginally better chance of answering your prayers than gods do. For instance, if you pray specifically for purring or for someone to scratch your furniture, your cats can probably get that done for you. Not much else, of course, but something is better than nothing.

3) As my buddy Ross said, “Plus, the cuddling and the purring. They actually deliver on the promise of temporal comfort.” Science proves him right!

4) Cats may pee on your bed, but they’re not going to send you to hell for all eternity.

Read the rest of the reasons you should make cats your god at Pandagon.