The last good first date I had, Bill Clinton was in his first term.  I have had other first dates since then.  As first dates go they were more like interviews for the job of girlfriend.  The ones that make it to the second interview are few and far between.

I have debated about creating a dating resume with a chronological breakdown of each woman I’ve dated, the time periods in which the dating occurred – carefully noting, for me at any rate, that there were no overlapping periods of “employment.”

January ushers in countless resolutions. People make themselves promises to lose weight, watch less television, manage their budget better, finish projects, spend more time with their kids (or less time depending on the child’s level of delinquency). I am no different than the scores of other people around me. Rather than one major resolution I decided to have a series of small ones that will help coping with another year of being single. This year I will attempt to refrain from:

1. Rear-ending cars with rainbow stickers in hopes of getting a name and phone number.

January ushers in countless resolutions. People make themselves promises to lose weight, watch less television, manage their budget better, finish projects, spend more time with their kids (or less time depending on the child’s level of delinquency). I am no different than the scores of other people around me. Rather than one major resolution I decided to have a series of small ones that will help coping with another year of being single. This year I will attempt to refrain from:

1. Rear-ending cars with rainbow stickers in hopes of getting a name and phone number.

It is only the second week of December and I am already sick of hearing Christmas music. That is understandable being that I heard the first “Jingle Bells” melody way back in August. To cope with all that freaking “holly, jolly” music, I make my own lyrics and let the voices in my head sing them for me. One of the most annoying songs for me is “The 12 Days of Christmas”. The redundancy is like long, cherry-red nails on the chalkboard. Since misery loves company, I thought I would share one of my own special variations. It helps me through the season. Sad part about this little tune is that some of the “gifts” listed are not far from the truth. Try to guess which ones.

On the first day of Christmas,
my ex-girlfriend left behind
A broken Hitachi Magic Wand

It is only the second week of December and I am already sick of hearing Christmas music. That is understandable being that I heard the first “Jingle Bells” melody way back in August. To cope with all that freaking “holly, jolly” music, I make my own lyrics and let the voices in my head sing them for me. One of the most annoying songs for me is “The 12 Days of Christmas”. The redundancy is like long, cherry-red nails on the chalkboard. Since misery loves company, I thought I would share one of my own special variations. It helps me through the season. Sad part about this little tune is that some of the “gifts” listed are not far from the truth. Try to guess which ones.

On the first day of Christmas,
my ex-girlfriend left behind
A broken Hitachi Magic Wand

Our welcome to new contributor Uncle Doreen!  Doreen has joined us to help us look at the lighter side of life from her own unique viewpoint.   Happy Thanksgiving to you all and after you eat and have your pants unsnapped, I hope you’ll browse through the latest contributions from our authors!  ~ Lori Hahn, GLBTQ Editor

Most of us remember as we approached our late teens how anxious we were to learn to drive a car. The excitement, the freedom, the “I am in charge” thrill pushed us to memorize the driver’s manual and all the mechanical and operational details of a 2-ton vehicle. Classes were taught, parents and teachers provided advice, and friends shared their experiences. The end result is that most of us understand how to reasonably drive a car and get from point A to point B rather successfully.

Our welcome to new contributor Uncle Doreen!  Doreen has joined us to help us look at the lighter side of life from her own unique viewpoint.   Happy Thanksgiving to you all and after you eat and have your pants unsnapped, I hope you’ll browse through the latest contributions from our authors!  ~ Lori Hahn, GLBTQ Editor

Most of us remember as we approached our late teens how anxious we were to learn to drive a car. The excitement, the freedom, the “I am in charge” thrill pushed us to memorize the driver’s manual and all the mechanical and operational details of a 2-ton vehicle. Classes were taught, parents and teachers provided advice, and friends shared their experiences. The end result is that most of us understand how to reasonably drive a car and get from point A to point B rather successfully.

Our welcome to new contributor Uncle Doreen!  Doreen has joined us to help us look at the lighter side of life from her own unique viewpoint.   Happy Thanksgiving to you all and after you eat and have your pants unsnapped, I hope you’ll browse through the latest contributions from our authors!  ~ Lori Hahn, GLBTQ Editor

Most of us remember as we approached our late teens how anxious we were to learn to drive a car. The excitement, the freedom, the “I am in charge” thrill pushed us to memorize the driver’s manual and all the mechanical and operational details of a 2-ton vehicle. Classes were taught, parents and teachers provided advice, and friends shared their experiences. The end result is that most of us understand how to reasonably drive a car and get from point A to point B rather successfully.