The ninth year of this new century gave us enough surprises, tragedies, laughter and loss to fill up a hard drive. But do not fear! I’ve kept my Year in Review brief in the hope it’ll tempt all you brilliant AWOP readers to add your own favorites to the list.

1. Our new president kicked things off by kicking gays aside on inauguration day. Rick Warren’s invitation to do the invocation sent a clear signal to our community – we’re not getting that puppy after all.

2. Oily Taint, Queen of the Birfers, unveiled an authentic Kenyan birth certificate proving President Obama was not born in the USA. And if you click here, you too can become authentically ineligible to be president.

3. Meanwhile, Michelle “saying there’s too many children is like saying there are too many flowers” Duggar birthed bouncing baby #19, her second delivery in slightly less than a year.

4. The Teabagger movement brought rightwing squirrels out in force.

5. On a personal level, I guess my biggest moment was when Jesus of Nazareth sent me a Facebook friend request. Have you found Jesus? He’s here.

6. In a grim reminder of the subtle and hidden danger in taking on board enough narcotics to kill a wildebeest, Michael Jackson left us forever.

7. Sarah the Sycophant wrote a book and lots of stupid people bought it.

8. Levi Johnston posed for Playgirl and gay men all through the land decried it as the spread that didn’t.

9. Dick Cheney was overlooked by Playgirl again.

10. And finally, in a world where gays cannot marry, only straight people commit adultery. And until Tiger Woods wedged his way to the top of the list, it looked like Mark Sanford would be 2009’s most talked about adulterer. But we’ve already reached Tigress #13 and it’s looking like this thing might go all the way to the 18th hole.

Publisher’s Note:

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